A guy walks up to the library desk and says ” can i have a large burger, fries and a coke please?”
Librarian replies “Sir this is a library”
So he whispers, “oh OK I’ll have a large burger, fries and a coke please”
A man gets run over by a mobile library and is rolling around the road screaming in agony, the driver quickly jumps out and says “Shhhhhhhhh”
Q. What did the librarian say when she dropped a pile of books on her foot?
A. Shhhhhh……it!
Q. Why did the librarian slip and fall on the library floor?
A. Because she was in the non-friction section.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow better place to hang out during the winter than the library!
Knock knock.
Student: Who’s there?
Librarian: Winnie.
Student: Winnie who?
Librarian: Winnie you going to bring back that overdue book, hm?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Rita.
Rita who?
Rita lot of good books!
Q. What do planets like to read?
A. Comet books.
Q. Why did the vampire check out a drawing book?
A. He wanted to learn how to draw blood.
Q. Why does the ghost come back to the library every day for more books?
A. Because she goes through them too quickly.
Q. Why didn’t the skeleton come back to the library with an overdue book?
A. He was too gutless.
Q. What did the detective do when he didn’t believe the librarian’s story?
A. He booked her!
Q. Do you know how many librarians it takes to change a light bulb?
A. No, but I know where you can look it up!
Q. If you travel to Eastern Europe, why won’t you find any books in Prague’s public library?
A. They’re all “Czech”ed out!
Q. What building has the most stories?
A. The library, of course!
Q. Where does a librarian sleep?
A. Between the covers.
Q. When a librarian goes fishing, what goes on her hook?
A. A bookworm, of course.
Q. What does a librarian eat dinner from?
A. A bookplate.
Q. What does the mummy do when he goes to the library?
A. He gets all wrapped up in a good book.
Never judge a book by its movie. JW Eagan
From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. Groucho Marx
The first book of the Bible is Guinness’s. In the book of Guinness, Adam and Eve were created from an apple.
Q. Why didn’t the thief burgle the library?
A. Because he was afraid the judge would give him a long sentence.
Q. What did one book say to the other one?
A. I just wanted to see if we are on the same page.
Q. What do you do if pet starts eating your library book?
A. Take the words right out of their mouth.
I can’t understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars. Fred Allen
A chicken walks into the library. It goes up to the circulation desk and says: “book, bok, bok, boook”.
Q. How many reference librarians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Well, what kind of light bulb were you thinking about?
Puns about books? I’m drawing a blank! (page)
“We better book it…to the library”
Book, line, and sinker.
Q. Why did the Romanian stop reading for the night?
A. To give his Bucharest.
Q. What’s the difference between a schoolboy and an angler?
A. One hates his books.The other baits his hooks.
Q. What’s the difference between a boring person and a boring book?
A. You can shut the book up.
Q. Why does an elephant use his trunk as a bookmark?
A. So he always nose where he stopped reading.
Q. Who wrote the book “Addicted To Reading”?
A. Paige Turner
Q. Who wrote the book “Mr. Nice Guy”?
A. Frank Lee Goode
Q. Who wrote the book “Building The Old Fashioned Way”?
A. Carrie Stone
I like big books and I cannot lie.
When you write copy, you have the right to copyright the copy you write, if the copy is right. If however, your copy falls over, you must right your copy. If you write religious services you write rite, and have the right to copyright the rite you write.
Very conservative people write right copy, and have the right to copyright the right copy they write. A right wing cleric would write right rite, and has the right to copyright the right rite he has the right to write. His editor has the job of making the right rite copy right before the copyright can be right.
Should Thom Wright decide to write right rite, then Wright would write right rite, which Wright has the right to copyright. Its not a joke, duplicating that rite would copy Wright right rite, and violate copyright, which Wright would have the right to right. Right?
Q. Where was the librarian when the lights went out?
A. In the dark!
Q. What’s the difference between an accountant and a dectective solving the Case of the Stolen Book?
A. One’s a bookkeeper and one’s a bookcaper
