A One Liner

Nov 08

A book fell on my head today… …I only have my shelf to blame.

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Mar 14

A guy walks up to the library desk and says ” can i have a large burger, fries and a coke please?” Librarian replies “Sir this is a library” So he whispers, “oh OK I’ll have a large burger, fries and a coke please” A man gets run over by a mobile library and is rolling around the road screaming in agony, the driver quickly jumps out and says “Shhhhhhhhh” Q. What did the librarian say when she dropped a pile of books on her foot? A. Shhhhhh……it! Q. Why did the librarian slip and fall on the library floor? A. Because she was in the non-friction section. Knock knock. Who’s there? Snow. Snow who? Snow better place to hang out during the winter than the library! Knock knock. Student: Who’s there? Librarian: Winnie. Student: Winnie who? Librarian: Winnie you going to bring back that overdue book, hm?   Knock knock. Who’s there? Rita. Rita who? Rita lot of good books! Q. What do planets like to read? A. Comet books. Q. Why did the vampire check out a drawing book? A. He wanted to learn how to draw blood. Q. Why does the ghost come back to the library every day for more books? A. Because she goes through them too quickly. Q. Why didn’t the skeleton come back to the library with an overdue book? A. He was too gutless. Q. What did the detective do when he didn’t believe the librarian’s story? A. He booked her! Q. Do you know how many librarians it takes to change a light bulb? A. No, but I know where you can look it up! Q. If you travel to Eastern Europe, why won’t you find any books in Prague’s public library? A. They’re all “Czech”ed out! Q. What building has the most stories? A. The library, of course! Q. Where does a librarian sleep? A. Between the covers. Q. When a librarian goes fishing, what goes on her hook? A. A bookworm, of course. Q. What does a librarian eat dinner from? A. A bookplate. Q. What does the mummy do when he goes to the library? A. He gets all wrapped up in a good book. Never judge...

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I like big books…

Feb 02

…And I cannot lie… You can buy this mug...

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More book irony…

Aug 07

Yesterday’s post was fun. I think I will add some more from Bizarre Books: A Compendium of Classic Oddities by Russell Ash and Brian Lake for today… Ten more unfortunate or funny author name / book name couples: Maurice Golesworthy — The Encyclopedia of Association Football John Goodbody — Illustrated History of Gymnastics Roger Grounds — The Perfect Lawn Anita Hardon — Monitoring Family Planning & Reproductive Rights Robin Hood — Industrial Social Security in the South Leslie Lines — Solid Geometry William W. Looney — Anatomy of the Brain  John Skull — Speak Your Mind Adrienne P. Swindells — Crime and Law Jack Roy Stranger — Abnormal Psychology: Understanding Behavior...

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Book Irony

Aug 06

I received as clever book yesterday and read it from start to finish in less than an hour, Bizarre Books: A Compendium of Classic Oddities by Russell Ash and Brian Lake. In it are unfortunate and humorous book titles and author name matches, double entendre titles, funny or inappropriate titles, etc. Here are ten book title / author name matches or mismatches I thought shareworthy: I. Atack — The Ethics of Peace and War Earl R. Babble — The Practice of Social Research Robin Banks — Punishment William Battie — Treatise on Madness Stephen E. Beltz — How to Make Johnny Want to Obey Geoff Carless — Motorcycling for Beginners David Blot — Put it in Writing Peter Elbow — Writing with Power Raymond W. Dull — Mathematics for Engineers Norman Knight — Chess Pieces You can pick up this book at a local bookstore near you. Shop Indie...

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